Girl: ‘When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.’ 
Boy:  ‘It’s very kind of you, darling, but I don’t have any worries or troubles.’ 
Girl:  ‘Well, that’s because we aren’t married yet.’ 

************************************

A newly married man asked his wife, ‘Would you have married me if my father hadn’t left me a fortune?’ 
‘Honey,’ the woman replied sweetly, ‘I’d have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A  FORTUNE!’ 

************************************

A wife asked her husband:  ‘What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?’  He looked at her from head to toe and replied: ‘I like your sense of humor!’ 

************************************

In my many years, I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress!  — John Adams