by Tony Henkels | Feb 23, 2022 | Comedy
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L’
TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.
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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
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TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
by Tony Henkels | Feb 14, 2022 | Books
When Politicians Panicked – John Tamny. Very well documented evidence of the disastrous results caused by politicians shutting down the U.S. economy, along with other countries, because of Covid. Many times more deaths were caused worldwide because of poverty caused by these shutdowns than by Covid. We could have survived nicely without any forced shutdowns. There are many other factors discussed that were “mistakes” made. *****
The Cauldron – Lew Paper. A good history about the American Ambassador, Joseph Grew in Japan during the year before WW2. He had the same political issues as today with President Roosevelt & Secretary of State Hull keeping him in the dark about their negotiations with Japan’s leaders. ****
The Note Through The Wire – Doug Gold. A very well-written story about a New Zealand Soldier captured early in WW2. Through a multitude of improbable situations, he meets a female Slovenia resistance fighter. Of course, they fall in love, so the intrigue is “spiced” up with romance. ****
How to Destroy America in Three Easy Lessons – Ben Shapiro. A deep look at the politics of the liberal left’s ideas from the 1619 project, Howard Zinn’s teachings, & what he labels as “Disintegrations”. He labels the conservative right as “unionist”. Lots of recent history & political ideas & the way it is disseminated to the public.***
Daughters of Yalta – Catherine Grace Katz. Kathy Harriman’s Daughter of Averell, ambassador to the Soviet Union, Sarah Churchill, Winston’s daughter, & Anna Roosevelt, FDR’s daughter. Stories about their personal lives during Yalta & before, during & after WW2. Various affairs spice up the book which has a lot of details about the politics & negotiations between the 3 countries. ***
Genius Makers – Cade Metz. This book is about many of the programmers & people who invest big money in developing artificial intelligence programs. It also covers the “top dogs” in the business – Google, Facebook, Twitter, Uber, Tesla & many others. Tough read unless you are really interested in this. ***
Heart & Steel – Bill Cowher/Michael Holley. Bill Cower’s biography. He coached the Pittsburgh Steelers for 15 years, winning one Super Bowl. He reveals a lot of information about his family & personal life, along with many details about coaching various players with the Steelers. ***
The Authoritarian Moment – Ben Shapiro. This one is all about the politics of the liberals, the conservatives, & the far-left Democrats. He gives many examples in real life about how they have become “authoritarian” by forcing the majority to follow their demands regarding our behaviors, beliefs, & even the language we use. ***
The Premonition – Michael Lewis. The main character in this book is Charity Dean, a county public health official in California. It is all about the Corona Virus & her premonition about its spread & how to fight it. It shows the incompetence in the CDC & the politics in our NIH. **
The Secret Life of Groceries – Benjamin Lorr. The author took jobs & worked with truckers, Trader Joe’s, Whole Foods, Piggly Wiggly, and the shrimp industry in Thailand. He investigated other suppliers of poultry, pork, & farm produce. He found many “problems” usually caused by necessity to reduce cost. A lot of things he exposed have been corrected to some extent. **
by Tony Henkels | Feb 9, 2022 | Comedy
- Is it true that you never really learn to swear until you learn to drive?
- An unusual amount of common sense is sometimes called wisdom.
- A hint is something we drop, but seldom pick up.
- Anything worth doing is going to take longer than you think.
- You don’t know what you know until you find out what you don’t know.
- One way to be happy ever after is not to be after too much.
- Grandma’s cookies didn’t need preservatives, they didn’t last long enough.
- On anniversaries, even if you forgot the past, don’t forget the present.
- A good friend is one who listens after asking “how are you?”
- Treat your friends like family & your family like friends.
- Blessed are those who give without remembering & receive without forgetting.
- Learn to laugh at yourself so you’ll always have something to make you happy.
- We make a living by what we get – we make a life by what we give.
- Of all of your fancy attire, a smile is the most important.
by Tony Henkels | Feb 3, 2022 | Comedy
One afternoon, a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate.
He asked one man, “Why are you eating grass?”
“We don’t have any money for food,” the poor man replied. “We have to eat grass.“
“Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I’ll feed you,” the lawyer said.
“But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree.”
“Bring them along,” the lawyer replied.
Turning to the other poor man he stated, “You may come with us, also.”
The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, “But sir, I also have a wife and children with me!”
“Bring them all as well,” the lawyer answered.
Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, “Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.“
The lawyer replied, “Glad to do it. You’ll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high.“
by Tony Henkels | Jan 24, 2022 | Comedy
*FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER*
8 years old, Hateful little bastard. Bites!
*FREE PUPPIES*
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor’s dog.
*FREE PUPPIES 2*
Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd. Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.
*COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED*
Also 1 gay bull for sale.
*JOINING NUDIST COLONY*
Must sell washer and dryer for $100.
*WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE*
Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie.
*FOR SALE BY OWNER*
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition, $200 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married, wife knows everything.
*Statement of the Century*
Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker–Billy Connolly. “If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, how come they can’t have a headache and sex at the same time?”
