- Have you noticed since everyone has a video recorder on their phones these days that no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
- Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
- All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
- In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now, the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
- Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
- Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
- Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
- How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
- If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
- Dream more while you are awake.
