*FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER*
8 years old, Hateful little bastard. Bites!

*FREE PUPPIES*
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor’s dog.

*FREE PUPPIES 2*
Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd. Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

*COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED*
Also 1 gay bull for sale.

*JOINING NUDIST COLONY*
Must sell washer and dryer for $100.

*WEDDING DRESS FOR  SALE*
Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie.

*FOR  SALE BY OWNER*
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition, $200 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married, wife knows everything.

*Statement of the Century*
Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker–Billy Connolly.  “If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, how come they can’t have a headache and sex at the same time?”