Some see the glass as half empty, others as half full. I just wonder who the hell is drinking my beer.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I love cats – just can’t eat a whole one by myself.

Encouragement enables, discouragement disables.

Patience is a bitter tree with sweet fruit.

Never expect good news in an envelope with a window.

A fool talks, a wise man speaks.

Itching for what you want is not enough; you’ve got to scratch for it.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

The people to get even with are those who have helped you.