The person who marries for money usually earns every penny.

Why is there a permanent-press setting on irons?

Anytime a man opens a car door for his girlfriend, either the car or the girlfriend is new.

Marriage is made in heaven; so is thunder & lightning.

Raving beauty = Contestant who came in last in a beauty contest.

Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.

How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you’re on.

Ever notice as soon as you make your mark on the world, someone comes along with an eraser?

When your work speaks for itself, don’t interrupt.

Middle age is when you start wondering how long your car will last rather than how fast it will go.