I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.You should never say no to a gift from a child.No matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.Life...

When I bore people at parties, I think it’s their fault. People who are always making allowances for themselves soon go bankrupt. Don’t just spend time, invest it. The world is like a mirror: reflecting what you do, and if your face is smiling, it smiles right...

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble. When chemists die, they barium. Friends are those rare people who ask how you are and then wait for the answer. A joke is like sex – neither is any good if you don’t get it. Trouble knocked on the...

The measure of life is not its duration, but its donation. Kind words cost little, yet they accomplish much. There’s plenty of room at the top – there’s just no room to sit down. You will never make a dream come true by oversleeping. Personality can open doors,...

Some see the glass as half empty, others as half full. I just wonder who the hell is drinking my beer. I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest. I love cats - just can’t eat a whole one by myself. Encouragement enables, discouragement...

1. Think all you speak, but do not speak all you think. 2. Anything on the menu that you can’t pronounce, you probably can’t afford. 3. Whether the task is large or small, do it right or not at all. 4. A good neighbor doubles the value...