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WITTICISMS

 If at first you don’t succeed, don’t try Russian roulette. Poise is looking like an owl after behaving like a jackass. My kid is studying English – now he talks back with perfect diction. If at first you don’t succeed, do it as she told you. The grass...

Comedy — because we can all use a chuckle

*FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER* 8 years old. Hateful little bastard. Bites! *FREE PUPPIES* 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog. *FREE PUPPIES* Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd. Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound. *COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED* Also 1 gay bull...

Have yourself a sunny snowbird Christmas

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GE3DTJaTAiM

Comedy — because we can all use a laugh

Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide. The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." The young guy says,...

Comedy — because we can all use a chuckle

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM. ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. 

WITTICISMS

When all the cars in Miami are laid end to end...it’s the weekend.Some chores have to be put off a dozen times before they slip your mind.The newest thing in women’s hairdos is men.Some people are so addicted to exaggeration, they can’t tell the...

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