• I know a guy who’s addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
  • You should never say no to a gift from a child.
  • No matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy 
    with.
  • Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
  • Money doesn’t buy class.
  • The older I get, the better I was.
  • To ignore the facts does not change the facts.
  • The easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people who are smarter than I am.
  • Everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
  • No one is perfect until you fall in love with them. 
WITTICISMS

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