When your reputation breaks down, there is no place to get spare parts.

Spaghetti can be eaten most successfully if you inhale it like a vacuum cleaner.

I have noticed that nothing I never said ever did me any harm.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

You’ll do more things that count if you don’t stop to count them.

Greener pastures often have higher fences.

If you don’t like the way life looks, change the way you look at life.

Wouldn’t it be better if we could get old later, and wise a little sooner?

People with horse sense know when to say nay.

Witticisms

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