You know you’re a redneck when……

 You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

 You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

 Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

 You burn your yard rather than mow it.

You think “The Nutcracker” is something you do off the high dive.

 The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

 You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don’t want it.

 You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

 You come back from the dump with more than you took.

You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.