WITTICISMS

  • No rule of success will work if you don’t.
  • Most antique shops have prices that are outrageously modern.
  • Forty is the old age of youth – fifty is the youth of old age.
  • I was expelled from cooking school. It left a bad taste in my mouth.
  • She was a prostitute, but she had the nicest face I ever came across.
  • Definition of bad luck – getting aids from a Quaker.
  • Why is it legal for men to be floorwalkers & illegal for women to be street walkers?
  • Life always offers you a second chance. It’s called tomorrow.
  • I wanted to get a job as a gynecologist, but I couldn’t find an opening.
  • Best place to be during an earthquake is a stationary store.