Wacky Witticisms

  1. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
  2. When a habit begins to cost money, it’s called a hobby.
  3. When you have bacon in your mouth, it doesn’t matter who is president.
  4. Ideas are funny things. They don’t work unless you do.
  5. Anyone who thinks truth is stranger than fiction has never heard my daughter explain her 3:30 AM arrival.
  6. REAL discipline is when you can pick strawberries without eating any.
  7. One of the hardest decisions in life is when to start middle age.
  8. A meeting is an event at which minutes are kept and hours are lost.
  9. The trouble with self-made men is that they worship their creator.
  10. It’s always darkest just before you stub your toe.