- I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
- When a habit begins to cost money, it’s called a hobby.
- When you have bacon in your mouth, it doesn’t matter who is president.
- Ideas are funny things. They don’t work unless you do.
- Anyone who thinks truth is stranger than fiction has never heard my daughter explain her 3:30 AM arrival.
- REAL discipline is when you can pick strawberries without eating any.
- One of the hardest decisions in life is when to start middle age.
- A meeting is an event at which minutes are kept and hours are lost.
- The trouble with self-made men is that they worship their creator.
- It’s always darkest just before you stub your toe.
